Six Things You'll Hate About Living in Utah

Another friend from Fresno is moving to Utah. I've lived here nearly twenty-two years -- don't get me wrong:  I love it here, but there are things that take some adjustment, so here are six things that people from California will hate about living in Utah

1.  Yellow Light Runners - The Utah Driver Handbook says only that the "yellow light is an indication that the light is about to turn red." (p.24)  There is nothing there which indicates whether drivers should attempt to stop when the light turns yellow. Utah drivers have interpreted this one way: yellow means "keep going." You won't find anyone hitting the break pedal when the light is yellow.

2. State Liquor Stores - Picking up a bottle of wine at Vons on the way home from work is a thing of the past once you move to Utah. Wine is available only at stores which are owned and run by the state. These state liquor stores (1) are inconveniently located, and (2) keep limited hours. Salt Lake County, with over a million residents, has only seventeen locations.The stores are open only until 10pm, and they're closed every Sunday and on all holidays -- including Election Day.  Plan ahead. By the way, don't think about bringing wine from another state or trying to join a "Wine of the Month Club;" Utah law treats those things as bootlegging.

3. Inversions - Every winter, usually in January, expect at least one stretch when you can't see the sun in Salt Lake City for two weeks.  When snow is on the ground, the entire Wasatch Front is afflicted by this natural phenomenon where cold air is trapped by warmer air above, which yields depressing, overcast days. After suffering through ten days or so wherein high temps never gets up to even 32°F, you'll be praying for a snow storm which can break the grip of the inversion and clear the air.

4. Sales Tax on Groceries. It's the ultimate in regressive taxation. In my last years in California, politicians fought about extending the sales tax to snacks and how to define what a "snack" is, but all along Utah was taxing all grocery purchases at the full rate. During his term, Governor Jon Huntsman provided a little relief and cut the sale rate on groceries in half, but you'll still be paying some sales tax even on the most basic needs.

5. Traffic Lights on Mastarms.  In all of the neighboring states, including Arizona, Colorado, Wyoming, Idaho, and Nevada, as well as California, traffic engineers mount an additional traffic signal on the support pole. If you're driving east at sunrise or west at sunset, you don't have to stare directly into the sun to see the light; just look at the other signal.  Not so in Utah:  Signals are mounted only on the mastarm which extends across the street.  If you have to squint, so be it.

6. The Broncos and Rockies. According to the NFL and MLB, Utah is in the home market for the Denver teams, If you're a fan of the 49ers, you'll get some of the games, but if there is a conflict, the Broncos game always wins out. Baseball is no different: MLB defines Utah as Rockies territory. If you want to hear Jon Miller and Duane Kuiper, you might want to pay for a subscription to mlb.com.  We don't get the Giants network here -- it's Rockies broadcasts only.